I have not figured out how to help a kid practice enough to see the results and take it from there...but I have figured out the effort needs to come from the kid.
I have not yet figured out what I am allergic to, though I am pretty sure it's something from dinner, on account of feeling temporarily terrible... Perhaps it's luck again, because when I get tested tomorrow, I'll have something by way of reaction?!!
Maybe tomorrow will have some answers. Last week's allergy test said "not really" to being allergic to cats, dogs, horses or moulds--yet, I react-which points to the histamine condition being the issue rather than the allergy, which could be in the "things I've figured out" category by the end of the week?
Oh well...until then, I'll just recuperate I think...
Cheers and chao!
I might have made progress on the first...how to get a kid to practice enough to feel/experience the benefits...
ReplyDeleteI'm still deciding if it's wicked-brilliant, or just wicked...time will tell I guess. Part of the issue was that kid wasn't valuing the lesson--So I though about boundaries-my boundaries. I honestly am not willing to pay for lessons and put in my own time and effort if kid's going to whine and slack about practicing. Then I had this thought-I'm not going to pay for lessons, for that kind of effort! What's that teaching him? "Nothing!" I answered myself... After a very frustrating conversation, I thought how much it stinks that a kid wants to play, but doesn't want to practice, and that if that happens how will he learn to appreciate or value his time, his teachers, and our efforts to make lessons happen...
Then- it hit me- if he values the time, effort and $$ spent on lessons, then he's got to show it with a quality practice. If he choses not to, then I want a refund-a literal refund of the cash, because I understand he can't give back the time already spent-- And it's not that he'll have to pay for the next one (because I know it could too easily become "well then I just won't go"--I think the key is that it's retroactive- "you've had the lesson, which means you owe the practice to yourself (and to help form the habit/value-to us if he choses to waste the lesson).
It all seems to be registering, that lessons come with an obligation to practice... I'll post an update if it keeps working, but I'll say again, I'm really encouraged.
I should add, the underlying motivation for the effort I'm putting in is that he really shines and loves it when he feels he's played well. If he didn't love it, I wouldn't have nearly the energy for trying to help him over the hump of practicing so that he could see for himself. Telling him it will pay off is no where near as powerful as him feeling the practice pay off for himself....
ReplyDeleteThree nights of happy, high-quality practice...perhaps the boundary conditions are working:)
ReplyDeleteFurther to this... we have now seen a number of quality practices, as well as an unanticipated benefit-there's no longer any question of whether or not to practice, but how to make it a quality one-which means he's planning his own practices. I'm impressed with him.
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