More on the middle man

So it's obvious, I'm sure, that my days are swirling around the middle man.  I had a great conversation (with a friend who's listening is out of this world!) about how to be moms of really intense boys.

Today, he was working independently, on math and reading while I had coffee with my friends...success (one of the positives we're focusing on "recognizing success"--just to make sure it registers!!!!).  He's currently drawing the third character of his story (prewriting, keeping his interest  up, getting his ideas captured, etc, etc, etc...).  I would love to be carefree and easygoing about this, but I feel like I need to stay sharp-and ready, for whatever thing that doesn't go his way, in case he loses it again.

I am optimistic, and realistic, and hoping he can earn back of a few of those "things he doesn't care about" but really does.  This sticking with it certainly takes energy on my part, and matching his energy--that's a task.  I must make sure to exercise so that I can keep up--there are two others as well, after all the schooling is done.

I will say that I feel its easier and easier to focus on the positives though, so again, I'm glad I've read the two most recent books to keep me thinking.  (The ones from my Facebook posts The Happiness Project and Social Intelligence).  Just being aware of the impact one person's energy has on the other has been beneficial for me, for understanding and minding my output; as well as understanding his approach...Much of what I do affects him, and while I can't control how he's going to react, I can monitor what I'm doing.

All this attempting to help him balance his reactions has me considering how he'll do when he's back in a classroom.  So with that in mind, I think I should try keep school at home as similar to school at school, so that he needs to do the work to manage himself on the path, rather than me changing the path...No matter what happens, I think it should be good for him, because if nothing else, I can help him with organization, focusing on positive approaches to work that needs doing, confidence, and he'll be older and closer in age to other 4th graders when he enters 4th grade-regardless-so in that sense, I feel good about what we decided regarding school.

I have loads of knowledgeable friends/family: so for any of you who are reading...I have a question/request:
What do you see as the top three skills children should have when they enter fourth grade?  Social, emotional, academic, subject specific--I'm interested in all of your responses.  And don't worry about formally following the blog if you read along from time to time-it's not searchable from google, so it's only my friends and family members who will see your comments:) Feel free to be the "village" -- you can check Google's privacy policy before you supply your email address:)

Cheers!