Such a different world... in the fitting room.

First off, I want to say I had way more fun a few years ago, when I was incredulous over how fit I felt.  Now, the strategy is different: I'm torn between holding off on clothes, and waiting for all the thyroid hormone to kick in, the pounds to come off, and the rest of me to firm up- in whatever form that ends up taking--and then there's acceptance.  I don't want to accept this form, buuuuuut, I also need to be able to feel somewhat decently pulled together, without feeling like I've squeezed into the day--because then I feel so self conscious I have a hard time moving along. And even though I know it's not the most serious thing...it is my current reality, and this, as usual is in the spirit of being honest and moving on.

Now that I've typed it, it sounds horribly off.  But that fits, I've been feeling horribly "off". Inside and out... I've decided to get by with some temporary things than don't crush me-physically or visually! I think in many ways it's a waste, because I hope to feel more fit soon (and already am, in so many ways).  I am eager to see the results of my efforts, which today, switched from walking to weights because I got the crazy-itches again...

This all struck me as I was fitting in a quick trip to shop in the very brief window of dropping kids off for their extras...one hour is what I had.  I hit the bargain shop (because "temporary", dammit!) and pulled a few pairs of pants off the racks.  Being three sizes larger did not feel fun. What did actually feel fun??? Well, after I discarded pieces I didn't like-

Too many wrinkles down the legs

Those stripes are not too bad...no...it's a different pattern on the back...no, but the diagonals on the front are good...but the back stripes...nope.

Low rise - whoops - didn't mean that!

White crops - like the line, don't like the pockets showing through...and they come up to high - those are ribs!

That's totally transparent, so I'd have to wear a tank beneath - so much for breezy!

OK - those fit, but I already have a pair to serve that function

I liked the pattern on the hanger, but the fabric feels too formal for casual Fridays kind of style

So....What actually felt fun-"ish" was that I found a pair that fit, but they still felt tight, so that wasn't the idea either, but I optimistically thought about it, because in three weeks...maybe?!!  Whoa, what time is it? Ok, still have a few minutes before I have to get back for kids...

And finally, to my great surprise, and the first time ever, ever I found a pair of curvy pants that fit. So the usual straight cut ones that fit me were too tight on my legs.  I've had to officially recognize that although I'm larger, I still look alright--mostly because I think I'm still proportional - everything is larger. I'll be getting by on the curvy pants for a while, and likely still be shocked every time I put them on. That, and bra shopping.  Shock. 

In summary, fitting room: ugh, no...I [fighting off negatives] no--but I'm getting healthy...oh...[fighting off negatives again!] no...this is ok...they fit. Temporarily.

Cheers and chao