A benign little post

One of the toughest things about healing is knowing how hard to push.  I can push myself, I know this; what I don't know is whether or not it's beneficial to do so.  If I push through, will I hinder the healing that I have to assume is taking place?  If I rest, am I just wasting time?  These are the uncertainties of getting better.  I'll take them though, because the joy in contemplating getting better is far, far better than spending the day worrying, which I've just been freed from- mostly, other than the normal things.  I never would spend a whole day worrying - just to be clear, but it was a concern that would pop-up--like whack-a-mole, or annoying ads online...

In all of these system-wide bothers that I've been dealing with (for review: immune over-reactions, digestion, weight gain, thyroid malfunction, likely a parasite, and severe anemia) I've been concerned that there's something hidden behind it all, lurking... But, now, I've had enough tests and procedures to reassure me that there is plenty of light in the corners, and nothing's really lurking.  "Benign" is a beautiful word, and I got that word yesterday.

I can focus on resting and getting the anemia under control - now that the source is dealt with.  I've been eating a lot of beef - thankfully, there's a BBQ man at home right now who's more than happy to make it happen! It's also nice when he's back to not feel as "on-call" as I often do, and it's doing wonders with regard to the resting (see above--how hard should I push myself?!!).  Resting is really an option, and I think one I'll have to exercise more often than I'd like to... I think I risk putting my body into that "emergency" state of affairs if I overdo it right now.

For the other roles I have in life, I'm really looking forward to working more, and getting the business hopping.  For one thing, I've always promised myself that I'd get housecleaning help...so never mind all the personal rewards I gain from working (being in the world professionally, feeling competent, feeling like I'm contributing to the greater good, etc...) just that, alone, makes hitting the bricks and getting clients worth the effort.  I am now free to concentrate on resting, and working, and getting better - while I keep on being the mom who makes green smoothies.  Sometimes, the kiddos even like them.

Cheers and chao