Repatriating, very much like expatriating, is a challenge. Only, it seems to feel like it shouldn't be... I am going to buck the system a bit, and talk about why. First off, yes, we are glad to be coming back-but I feel a little sad that the obvious adventuring is over for now... Paradox, my best description, is at an all-time high.
Here's my take. We're Canadian. Our kids are Canadian, though less experienced at it. Our kids have been to private, English speaking schools, learning Spanish. I'll miss that they're not learning a second language anymore. This feels like a loss, because it is. Coming back to Canada means that school should be much easier-except, they're kids, so there will still be challenges. I hope that they gain a lot from being so much more like their classmates, and understand everything. I also think its a blissfully naive notion that school would easy for any kid--it's school, so the challenges are there, regardless of language.
I won't (necessarily) miss the difficulties of being in another culture, (except that I sort of already do!) but I will miss how those challenges have helped us fortify ourselves and our family. I will be sure to enjoy the ease of knowing the systems; and then I immediately remind myself that being in any system can be challenging. For example- public education, where we're heading back to, is in conflict with the government...What will my kids' schools be like? 36 kids in a room? I hope the government decides to abide by the legal rulings against them- but will they? I was there when the decided legality and good faith weren't important. In a developed economy like Canada's, this behaviour seems far worse-- because explaining it away as 'growing pains' in a developing economy is ludicrous and completely inconceivable. How will we be stronger for these kinds of challenges?
Knowing the streets, though, that familiarity feels good. We were very fortunate to have an amazing driver when we were in Medellin though- and I will miss that kind of easy operation too, along with missing him-the person who, along with his wife, became an excellent friend to us...
Friends...we all need them...and coming back to the steadfast ones is always deeply amazing and beautiful. Leaving new ones has been especially keen this time-and seeing the kids saying painful goodbyes to great kids has been horrid. As the realization sinks in for them, promises of Skyping and staying in touch are little to know comfort to say, or to hear, I imagine--other than hearing that their parents understand, and that whatever they're feeling is completely legitimate...etc...I think that for them, it's possibly even a tougher set of feelings, because they're so young that the feelings aren't only strong, but new as well...
For me, personal distress is nothing compared to what the kids are going through-yet, I know from the past that it's important to take a few minutes, survey my own experience, and spend a few minutes in whatever has happened for me--so that I can 'visit' with the feelings and be as aware a person as I can be...oblivion in one's inner world is never really a great situation, so that's a bit of work that needs doing on the daily.
So how to navigate the transition? It's a transition, like all the others we've made, and we'll try to do what's worked for us in the past. That means healthy eating, exercise, and internal and external honesty--and a whole lot of generosity and understanding with each other. We know we won't be able to see everyone the first day/week back; but that doesn't keep us from eagerly planning times together--being with family has already been great, and I am enjoying being in the same room, instead of flattened into a video call (but still-those are way better than voice calls!).
The adventures of life continue, in English...and in familiar territory. We will continue, paradoxically, going both as slowly and quickly as we can...enjoying where we are while acknowledging the pain of leaving. This will take coffee, hello hugs, a few tears, and then maybe some more coffee. But, not the coffee with the creme de ron I tried to bring back--(the Bailey's style version of rum from Colombia)--that's in smithereens thanks (?!!) to security checks that tumbled the inside of my suitcase--and it's also in little dribbles at the airport...in the parking lot...and in the truck. So with laundry underway, I guess the truck's the next thing to clean?!
Cheers and chao-
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